I open my eyes and worry… Every day! Here we just started our 2 month summer break, and there is no more than 17¤c outside?! DAMN!! I say “Good morning!” to my nice, sweet boyfriend, walk the long walk to my big bathroom, put on my clothes and wash my face in clean fresh cold water. Than I go to my stuffed fridge and make breakfast to my perfectly flawed daughter. I don’t have many worries in my life do I? I think of it a lot as i fight for human rights, my daily conversations with people in their battle for life. It reminds me of how lucky I am.
But than sometimes, like last night I get a wake-up call from the global watch of hypocrisy, and last night was one of these nights. It wasn’t Zionism, but a warning that people I’m fighting side by side with also have a tendency to put religion over humanity, and my fight for my daughter’s future in a coexisting society most likely will be lost. And my changing my profile picture to show I support gay marriage was the only thing I needed to do.
Suddenly many of my Muslim followers showed a new side of themselves that almost made me cry. This made me think of my life and how coincidences has it that I ended up here and how lucky I am to be here. I decided to compare my struggles in my youth with a gay Muslim in the Middle East just to see. Because in Norway gay marriage and adoption has been legal since 2009, so we don’t see that as something new here the funny thing would be to use an actual human with flaws.
I was born with a flaw.. When the doctor listened to my heart he heard a strange sound and found, so from my birthday the September 15. 1980 and for nine more years, I went back and forth to checkups in hopes of a hole in may heart to heal itself. I’m glad it was a physical flaw so they discovered it and started treating it right away. The summer of -89 i went to the most advanced hospital for my open heart surgery. I remember it was extra special entering the hospital that day, because our former king Olav 5. was admitted to the same hospital and journalists was waiting for news, playing with balloons in their camera lenses. I rested for one day after the surgery, but three days later we jumped around celebrating that I finally was passed the stressful heart thing. If one only could prove ones mentality the way you could your health after birth like that, fire up an x-ray machine and prove once – only one time that a person is born gay….. DAMN
After a week at home after the operation, I collapsed. I threw up every drop i got in my stomach, every time i stood on the floor i fainted. The ambulance got me to the hospital who gave me fluids…. suddenly I was gone again. Now, if this was 1400 years ago my mother would have said goodbye, because there would be no other alternatives for the doctor. My mother would have had a priest over for a visit, she would have said her goodbyes and I would have been 7 feet under. But this wasn’t 1400 years ago, so they got an ambulance plane, got me to Oslo. Here they found out that The doctors in Molde had filled more water into my heart that almost was drowning in fluids. Good thing we’ve evolved in 1400 years, right? If I was male and born with the chromosomes Xq28 and 8q12 in the Middle East, for example. Than the chances of me being executed for being gay has a possibility, but no stethoscope will detect that so how can you actually prove that you’ve been gay from birth?
As it turns out I had another invisible flaw after three weeks and a trip to Germany the results of my tests showed that I was allergic to the silicone powder on doctor’s glows, and the magical recovery over three days turned out to be a recovery over 9 years. ….Yeah! A couple of days after my 18th birthday I was officially recovered. If the allergy was the Xq28 ‘n 8q12, I’d probably be dead by now I wouldn’t have been given 9 years of check ups to insure me happiness, they wouldn’t have been able to medicate me and I’d be healed afterwards. You simply don’t heal a chromosome flaw, it’s a done deal.
When I started primary school another issue came up. I didn’t follow my classmates learning-paste. I totally fell off the math, and after being laughed at a couple of times by my classmates it ended with me distancing myself from the group. The school did everything they could and in the end they found out I had a normal form of dyslexia, but this was at the same time as the heart surgery.. so this will be a period I loose a lot of important lessons. This followed me for the of my 9 years of school. I got more and more isolated due to my lack of improvement i feared they would laugh at me. Wonder who I would be today if I for those 9 years attended a school as a gay student…. fearing for my life.. From how some describe gays in the Middle East I would think I looked like a three-headed monster.
Except for my story in Norway being 100% safer I see some similarities between me and the arab Gay. You see.. we are both born into societies that’s hostile towards our existence. I grow up in a society where you need an education so that you can get a good job and work up a capital. The capital is gonna be spent on a spenders marked so that you can build a social status. My biologi, genetics, flaws and choice of interest (politics), makes me unsuitable for this society. The intro… it’s only part true.. I live in my boyfriends house, and when he can’t drive me in the car I need to take the bus… The gay arab is born into a totalitarian, religious society. Whit him they can use a brutal punishment method as a way to keep the submissive community. He would be an outcast, if he chose to follow his instincts. I would look down in shame for being “dumb”, he would look down i fear of giving himself away.
At the same time I’m asking my self.. If Islam is telling the follower that “Gayness” is a decease and I’ve got my decease (Dyslexia turned ADHD when I was 26) Wouldn’t I deserve a death penalty too? after all the decease is in the same place?
During my rather lonely childhood and restrictions due to the heart, my mother found out that animals would be a great thing for me. I already took home all the stray cats in the neighborhood, and my heart would take it. She took me to the stables and I loved it. I’ve always had a caring heart – and this was a nice way to train it and make it stronger. Your animals become friends with you, you talk to them, you play with them, you cry with them, and they NEVER judge you or laugh at you.
So I need to say to those who keep comparing gays with animals (no matter how lame that argument is)… In comprising with the person who’s using the argument… take it as a compliment! The witch hunt i saw today…. there is nothing more evil or destructive than the human race on a power trip.
One of the worst thing that can happen to a Norwegian girl is to witness the woman who gave birth to her, her life rock and only stable support wither away in a fatal depression. Feelings of guilt, insufficiency and that her existence was a burden on me, who was responsible for her before she committed suicide on March in 98. From that day on I’ve kept a promise to my self never to hurt anyone purposelessly. The most normal way for a gay man to “heal” himself in a religious society is in fact suicide – if the state doesn’t handle him first…
So on the grounds that: a gay man or woman are human being in a lifetime of struggles because of their choice of lifestyle, i chose to give my support to them because every human being has a basic human right to choose who they love!
2 thoughts on “Damn you Xq28s and damn the 8q12s too!”
Nonetheless it costs cash and hence difficult for newbies.